For reasons inexplicable to me, reading other people's strong opinions online irritates me more than almost anything. Usually, I can restrain myself from overt action while my blood boils quietly in response. This morning however I failed. I read a tweet by friend with a strongly worded opinion. I reacted by getting all snarky and passive aggressive with my posts. They told me off and I got all offended, but apologized because I also recognized that I had been harsh and unfair. I then unfollowed them because I didn't trust my reaction to anything further they might post in response. Now I have banned my self from twitter and facebook for the day. Unfortunately I can't tell whether I'm doing this so I don't have to see anything else that irritates me today, or if I'm just pulling more passive aggressive shit to try and make poeople feel bad for me.
What kind of mean asshole person do I have to be that can't just let things lie?
I'm left wondering why strong opinions make me so irritated and uncomfortable. I personally find it very hard to form strong personal opinions about issues, so it's also hard for me to relate to people when they have strong opinions. The closest I come to strong opinions is regarding first amendment issues about which I care deeply, but when people talk about boycotts or whatever I feel like I just can't relate. Which, to me, reads as me having a lot of trouble relating to any issue that probably awont directly effect me, which makes me not much more than a narcisistic bratty childish entitled straight white guy whose unwilling to privilige check when it actually counts. In other words I'm finding it hard to resist living down all the worst stereotypes about liberal white guys .
So that is what's going on with me today. Also I'm busy with housework, and I have to get up early for work tomorrow, so I don't get to do D&D tonight which totally sucks. The more I grow up the less I like the person I find myself growing into, but I have trouble seeing how to pull out of the existential nosedive I feel myself in.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Walk to PCC
Took a walk up to PCC Cascade campus around 1:30. As I walked I found that fall has begun falling much faster than I thought it would. I saw a pair of young women across the street from me, one of whom was climbing a tree. When I was walking back I investigated the tree and found that it had plums growing in the upper branches. I, however, have never been great at climbing trees.
I went up to PCC Cascade, because I received mail two weeks ago that told me that I would be cut off of financial aid after this term, and if I wanted to keep it I had to file an application for an extension. I want to talk to an adviser about how best to do this. When I got to the advising office, I saw how long a wait it would be, and was also a little scared of doing it. I've decided to wait until a week or two of the term has passed and things settle down a bit.
Sometimes I think about trying to forgo the associate of arts transfer program and just transferring outright to PSU. I don't know which way would be more beneficial yet.
I went up to PCC Cascade, because I received mail two weeks ago that told me that I would be cut off of financial aid after this term, and if I wanted to keep it I had to file an application for an extension. I want to talk to an adviser about how best to do this. When I got to the advising office, I saw how long a wait it would be, and was also a little scared of doing it. I've decided to wait until a week or two of the term has passed and things settle down a bit.
Sometimes I think about trying to forgo the associate of arts transfer program and just transferring outright to PSU. I don't know which way would be more beneficial yet.
Monday, August 10, 2009
101 things
Like some of my other friends and acquaintances I have decided to use the 101 things in 1001 days(May 7th 2012) meme to overhaul my life. However some of the things I put on my list ended up being just a tad too personal for me to share on the Internet. These will manifest as a number followed by a blank.
1. Make list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. Done.
2. Publish a short story.
3. Finish writing a novel.
4. Visit a state other than Washington.
5. Get my tranfer degree at PCC.
6. Apply for food stamps by October 2009.
7. Write at least a dozen poems. 0/12
8. Learn to ride a bike.
9. Learn to swim.
10. Go on a date.
11.
12.Read a book by Aleister Crowley.
13. Read a book by Austin Spare
14. Read a book by Kenneth Grant
15. Write a song.
16. Learn to drive.
17. Lose 20 pounds.
18. Try alcohol.
19.
20. Clean my room every year in August. 0/3
21. Read a James Joyce novel.
22. Read Moby Dick.
23. Attend a Shakespeare play.
24. Attend a non Shakespeare play.
25. Write a play.
26. Write a comic.
27. Attend a con.
28. Start going to "real" college.
29. Give Blood.
30. Play a video game through to the finish.
31. Run at least one D&D campaign.
32. Run an rpg other than D&D.
33. Get a housecat.
34. Finish designing a pen and paper role-playing game.
35. Learn Spanish.
36. Learn one additional foreign language.
37. Read at least one book about Celtic mythology.
38. Finish making Logan and Zena's wedding gift.
39. Design a Tarot deck.
40. Read "The Golden Bough."
41. Get a better job.
42. Write an audio play.
43. Fail completely at one of the things on this list.
44. Watch a horror movie a day one October.
45. Read a book on Tarot.
46. Read a book about the I Ching.
47. Pay my mother at least 10,000 dollars spread out over the period. 0/10000.
48.
49. Update my blog at least 40 times. Not counting updates to this list. 1/40
50. Get a housemate.
51. Clean house top to bottom every spring. 0/3
52. Make at least 3 new friends. 0/3
53. Learn a role-playing system I've never played with before.
54. Try dice-less role-playing.
55. Attend a church service. (Just out of curiosity.)
56. Learn to play the harmonica.
57.
58.
59. Save 2600$
60. Write at least one work of pornography under a pseudonym.
61. Learn to not freak out around dogs.
62. Go 60 days without soda. 0/60
63. Pay only in cash for six months. (not necessarily consecutive.) 0/6
64. Host a Halloween party.
65. Read the complete works of Poe.
66. Read the remainder of my Lovecraft Anthologies.
67. Write a dozen stories about Vampires. 0/12
68. Read "The Invisibles"
69. Don't buy any books until I finish what I currently have on my plate.
70. Move firewood into basement before September 2009.
71. Trim the yard once a month during the spring and summer months. 1/21
72. Write at least a paragraph of something per day. 1/1001
73. Never let my tweets go over 200 a month. 1/33
74. Pass Math 111 in Fall 2009.
75. Spend one day a month doing nothing. 1/33
76. Visit the zoo once a year. 0/3
77. Turn my mom's old bedroom, or the basement into an office.
78. See a live concert at least once a year. 0/3
79. Get a proper Christmas tree. 0/3
80. Find a group to run Promethean with.
81. Try writing a nonfiction work.
82. Read the Bible.
83. Read the Qu'ran.
84. Read the Enuma Elis
85. Read the Nag Hammadi texts.
86. Take a hard science course and get better than a C.
87. Retake and pass US History 201 out of pride.
88. Finish collecting every issue of Starman.
89. Acquire some actual Chick Tracts.
90. Write a science-fiction story.
91. Get somebody to watch "Man of the Century" with me.
92. Begin writing "Z-type."
93. Learn how playing cards can be used for divination.
94. Make sure to get a cool calender every year. 0/3
95. Use the Qlippoth in fiction.
96. Keep a dream journal.
97. Keep a writing journal.
98. Carry a small ideas notebook at all times.
99. Watch a John Waters movie.
100. Take a week off one December to experiment with living only at night.
101. Get some variety of cell phone.
That's the list I'm going to try to stick to it, but I have a history of getting bored or forgetting about this sort of thing after a couple of months, so wish me luck. I have eliminated and altered the internet related items now that I realize how much work it would be just to keep track of those things.
1. Make list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. Done.
2. Publish a short story.
3. Finish writing a novel.
4. Visit a state other than Washington.
5. Get my tranfer degree at PCC.
6. Apply for food stamps by October 2009.
7. Write at least a dozen poems. 0/12
8. Learn to ride a bike.
9. Learn to swim.
10. Go on a date.
11.
12.Read a book by Aleister Crowley.
13. Read a book by Austin Spare
14. Read a book by Kenneth Grant
15. Write a song.
16. Learn to drive.
17. Lose 20 pounds.
18. Try alcohol.
19.
20. Clean my room every year in August. 0/3
21. Read a James Joyce novel.
22. Read Moby Dick.
23. Attend a Shakespeare play.
24. Attend a non Shakespeare play.
25. Write a play.
26. Write a comic.
27. Attend a con.
28. Start going to "real" college.
29. Give Blood.
30. Play a video game through to the finish.
31. Run at least one D&D campaign.
32. Run an rpg other than D&D.
33. Get a housecat.
34. Finish designing a pen and paper role-playing game.
35. Learn Spanish.
36. Learn one additional foreign language.
37. Read at least one book about Celtic mythology.
38. Finish making Logan and Zena's wedding gift.
39. Design a Tarot deck.
40. Read "The Golden Bough."
41. Get a better job.
42. Write an audio play.
43. Fail completely at one of the things on this list.
44. Watch a horror movie a day one October.
45. Read a book on Tarot.
46. Read a book about the I Ching.
47. Pay my mother at least 10,000 dollars spread out over the period. 0/10000.
48.
49. Update my blog at least 40 times. Not counting updates to this list. 1/40
50. Get a housemate.
51. Clean house top to bottom every spring. 0/3
52. Make at least 3 new friends. 0/3
53. Learn a role-playing system I've never played with before.
54. Try dice-less role-playing.
55. Attend a church service. (Just out of curiosity.)
56. Learn to play the harmonica.
57.
58.
59. Save 2600$
60. Write at least one work of pornography under a pseudonym.
61. Learn to not freak out around dogs.
62. Go 60 days without soda. 0/60
63. Pay only in cash for six months. (not necessarily consecutive.) 0/6
64. Host a Halloween party.
65. Read the complete works of Poe.
66. Read the remainder of my Lovecraft Anthologies.
67. Write a dozen stories about Vampires. 0/12
68. Read "The Invisibles"
69. Don't buy any books until I finish what I currently have on my plate.
70. Move firewood into basement before September 2009.
71. Trim the yard once a month during the spring and summer months. 1/21
72. Write at least a paragraph of something per day. 1/1001
73. Never let my tweets go over 200 a month. 1/33
74. Pass Math 111 in Fall 2009.
75. Spend one day a month doing nothing. 1/33
76. Visit the zoo once a year. 0/3
77. Turn my mom's old bedroom, or the basement into an office.
78. See a live concert at least once a year. 0/3
79. Get a proper Christmas tree. 0/3
80. Find a group to run Promethean with.
81. Try writing a nonfiction work.
82. Read the Bible.
83. Read the Qu'ran.
84. Read the Enuma Elis
85. Read the Nag Hammadi texts.
86. Take a hard science course and get better than a C.
87. Retake and pass US History 201 out of pride.
88. Finish collecting every issue of Starman.
89. Acquire some actual Chick Tracts.
90. Write a science-fiction story.
91. Get somebody to watch "Man of the Century" with me.
92. Begin writing "Z-type."
93. Learn how playing cards can be used for divination.
94. Make sure to get a cool calender every year. 0/3
95. Use the Qlippoth in fiction.
96. Keep a dream journal.
97. Keep a writing journal.
98. Carry a small ideas notebook at all times.
99. Watch a John Waters movie.
100. Take a week off one December to experiment with living only at night.
101. Get some variety of cell phone.
That's the list I'm going to try to stick to it, but I have a history of getting bored or forgetting about this sort of thing after a couple of months, so wish me luck. I have eliminated and altered the internet related items now that I realize how much work it would be just to keep track of those things.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Everday is another shooter
http://www.everydayshooter.com
The most awesomest shooter game I've ever played. Buy it off steam immediately. No regret you, it.
The most awesomest shooter game I've ever played. Buy it off steam immediately. No regret you, it.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Flash fiction
I don't get as much time as I would like to write. I have started a twitter account and intend to post a new 140 character or less short short story at least once a week, though I hope to do more than that. My twitter id is Shade1983 just as it is here.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Freeze redux
This is a variation on the other picture with Mr. Freezes more classic eye coloring. Do you think it improves or detracts? For those interested in the typeface I believe it is Ruben.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Champagne Dreams
Last night on New Year's Eve I tried my first alcohol ever. I had a small mug of champagne to ring in the new year. I must admit I was excited.
To give the reader some context, I'm 25 and have a long standing phobia, neurosis thing about alcohol. This, presumably, stems, in part, from my childhood experiences of my dad's side of the family, in which overindulgence of alcohol on festive occasions was a regular occurrence. This was coupled with my maternal grandmother's deep criticism of indulgence in alcohol to any extent. As a result, I never really got a clear picture of what healthy alcohol consumption looks like, until my high school friends started drinking in the moderate reasonable ways they presumably learned from families less, or differently, dysfunctional than my own. The alcoholism on my father's side, combined with various other of my personal habits and traits led me to believe that I was probably not a good candidate to be someone who can drink regularly in a moderate way.
However, last night was new year's eve and I decided to try some champagne for the occasion. At heart I don't think I really wanted to, and I want to emphasize that I don't feel that my friends actively pressured me to do it. With the first mouthful I realized I didn't really like how it tasted, and made my dislike known in the traditional verbal fashion. At this point I was told that champagne wasn't really a good drink for starters, and they made other suggestions, that I tried to politely brush away. What started as an attempt express my distaste with the beverage and the unlikelihood of me trying more alcohol in the near future, sort of turned into a tirade about how I wish my friends would give me some space on this issue, and I don't remember everything I actually said, but I was pretty thoroughly annoyed with there response to my first time drinking alcohol. If I was out of line, or coming off as trying to be morally superior, I apologize. But the facts are, I felt like they didn't really know how much thought I had gone into over whether or not I was going to try my first drink that night. To them drinking is a casual thing that is not remotely a big deal. This may be a personality flaw on my part, but to me it was a very big deal. Drinking is pretty much the gateway between adult and not adult in our culture, and frankly when you're the only one at a party not drinking there is a real paranoia that can come over a person, like they're the baby of the party, and everyone else is just putting up with them to be polite. It's not that anybody actively comments or slights you, it's just that feeling of otherness, like you're not really part of the group. Sometimes they do make comments, even just in jest, that drinking would somehow improve me, which, joking though it is, does prey on my pre-existing insecurities.
The worst part is that, in fact, there is no rational reason for me to feel that way. For the most part people are nice and understanding about the issue, even when I've reiterated it ad nauseum. They all know what my deal is, it's ultimately me who has the problem with it. The whole thing just feeds into my insecurities over acceptance and validation. The feeling that no matter how long I've known my group of friends I'm still the new guy who has to prove himself. What all this is to say, is that intead of drinking for normal reasons like wanting to relax and have a good time, I drank because I thought somehow that would finally make me feel in. Make me feel like I belonged in the group. I drank because I thought if I did it would magically become a non-issue for me. Basically I drank in an attempt to kill my own insecurities and fears, which is probably a poor reason to drink alcohol.
As for the actual effects on my body. I got a fuzzy feeling for about an hour to an hour and a half followed by a headache that lasted the rest of the night. It also retriggered the depressive period that I had just pulled out of the day before. Now I'll probably have to wait another day or so, until I feel normal again. Basically my first experience with alcohol, was not very positive and I almost immediately regretted it. Now I know some people will be all, 'Oh, you just need more practice,' or 'don't let one bad experience ruin it' but that really isn't very helpful to me, since it just seems to reenforce the idea that I'm not going to be totally accepted by the group unless I conform, and drink to some extent. Not to be mean, but sometimes I almost get the inpression that people want me to drink, because me not drinking takes away from there fun which is paranoid on my part if false, but selfish on their part if true.
I guess I just want some sort of stable sign that i'm welcome even if I don't want to drink. I know there is a habit of playful teasing amobngst the group but if i could have some support or at least distance on this issue I would feel a lot better. Not that anyone reading should feel bad or anything, I mean everyone who was at the party is on this blogs friend list, so I expect some of them will read this. I don't want you to feel bad or guilty, because that would make me the self-centered one. All I'd really like is that whether people agree or disagree with my various reasonings on the subject they at least try to understand that this is probably one of those major issues that was defined by my childhood and will probably not go away for me easily if it ever does. To be fair there is another person in the group who doesn't drink just because he doesn't like the taste of alcohol, and I always get the sense that he gets more respect for his stand because it relies on a pure aesthetic, 'I don't like it, argument', rather than my complicated psycho-social arguments. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a squalling baby making excuses not to do something I'm scared of, so there's quite a lot of ambivelence on my part about this whoole thing.
Sorry, if i took up to much of your time, or hurt anyone's feelings. It's just because I sometimes think people don't get how much of an important issue this is for me, because it's such a non-issue for them and other people who are more normal than I am.
I hope this isn't too whiny, anyway food for thought.
To give the reader some context, I'm 25 and have a long standing phobia, neurosis thing about alcohol. This, presumably, stems, in part, from my childhood experiences of my dad's side of the family, in which overindulgence of alcohol on festive occasions was a regular occurrence. This was coupled with my maternal grandmother's deep criticism of indulgence in alcohol to any extent. As a result, I never really got a clear picture of what healthy alcohol consumption looks like, until my high school friends started drinking in the moderate reasonable ways they presumably learned from families less, or differently, dysfunctional than my own. The alcoholism on my father's side, combined with various other of my personal habits and traits led me to believe that I was probably not a good candidate to be someone who can drink regularly in a moderate way.
However, last night was new year's eve and I decided to try some champagne for the occasion. At heart I don't think I really wanted to, and I want to emphasize that I don't feel that my friends actively pressured me to do it. With the first mouthful I realized I didn't really like how it tasted, and made my dislike known in the traditional verbal fashion. At this point I was told that champagne wasn't really a good drink for starters, and they made other suggestions, that I tried to politely brush away. What started as an attempt express my distaste with the beverage and the unlikelihood of me trying more alcohol in the near future, sort of turned into a tirade about how I wish my friends would give me some space on this issue, and I don't remember everything I actually said, but I was pretty thoroughly annoyed with there response to my first time drinking alcohol. If I was out of line, or coming off as trying to be morally superior, I apologize. But the facts are, I felt like they didn't really know how much thought I had gone into over whether or not I was going to try my first drink that night. To them drinking is a casual thing that is not remotely a big deal. This may be a personality flaw on my part, but to me it was a very big deal. Drinking is pretty much the gateway between adult and not adult in our culture, and frankly when you're the only one at a party not drinking there is a real paranoia that can come over a person, like they're the baby of the party, and everyone else is just putting up with them to be polite. It's not that anybody actively comments or slights you, it's just that feeling of otherness, like you're not really part of the group. Sometimes they do make comments, even just in jest, that drinking would somehow improve me, which, joking though it is, does prey on my pre-existing insecurities.
The worst part is that, in fact, there is no rational reason for me to feel that way. For the most part people are nice and understanding about the issue, even when I've reiterated it ad nauseum. They all know what my deal is, it's ultimately me who has the problem with it. The whole thing just feeds into my insecurities over acceptance and validation. The feeling that no matter how long I've known my group of friends I'm still the new guy who has to prove himself. What all this is to say, is that intead of drinking for normal reasons like wanting to relax and have a good time, I drank because I thought somehow that would finally make me feel in. Make me feel like I belonged in the group. I drank because I thought if I did it would magically become a non-issue for me. Basically I drank in an attempt to kill my own insecurities and fears, which is probably a poor reason to drink alcohol.
As for the actual effects on my body. I got a fuzzy feeling for about an hour to an hour and a half followed by a headache that lasted the rest of the night. It also retriggered the depressive period that I had just pulled out of the day before. Now I'll probably have to wait another day or so, until I feel normal again. Basically my first experience with alcohol, was not very positive and I almost immediately regretted it. Now I know some people will be all, 'Oh, you just need more practice,' or 'don't let one bad experience ruin it' but that really isn't very helpful to me, since it just seems to reenforce the idea that I'm not going to be totally accepted by the group unless I conform, and drink to some extent. Not to be mean, but sometimes I almost get the inpression that people want me to drink, because me not drinking takes away from there fun which is paranoid on my part if false, but selfish on their part if true.
I guess I just want some sort of stable sign that i'm welcome even if I don't want to drink. I know there is a habit of playful teasing amobngst the group but if i could have some support or at least distance on this issue I would feel a lot better. Not that anyone reading should feel bad or anything, I mean everyone who was at the party is on this blogs friend list, so I expect some of them will read this. I don't want you to feel bad or guilty, because that would make me the self-centered one. All I'd really like is that whether people agree or disagree with my various reasonings on the subject they at least try to understand that this is probably one of those major issues that was defined by my childhood and will probably not go away for me easily if it ever does. To be fair there is another person in the group who doesn't drink just because he doesn't like the taste of alcohol, and I always get the sense that he gets more respect for his stand because it relies on a pure aesthetic, 'I don't like it, argument', rather than my complicated psycho-social arguments. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a squalling baby making excuses not to do something I'm scared of, so there's quite a lot of ambivelence on my part about this whoole thing.
Sorry, if i took up to much of your time, or hurt anyone's feelings. It's just because I sometimes think people don't get how much of an important issue this is for me, because it's such a non-issue for them and other people who are more normal than I am.
I hope this isn't too whiny, anyway food for thought.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Not a Review
It is only once in a great while I get the urge to produce visual art. Last night was one of those times.
Comments are welcome.
Comments are welcome.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Work and School Conspire
Work and School have conspired against my little project here. I think I may have to go back to the one a week style I used when I started this blog and hold off this horror movie a day project until maybe next October.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Vampire Weekend
4 vampire movies in three days.
Friday 3rd Nosferatu (1922)
Classic silent German expressionism. Unlike Caligari where the whole world is set in expressionist fashion, Nosferatu presents a world that that more or less resembles our own. This world is invaded by the expressionistic cloud that Graf Orlock spreads like the plague in his wake.
Saturday 4th Dracula (1931) and Martin (1977)
The Bela Lugosi classic and Goerge Romero's best movie make a fine pairing. The first presents the vampire in all it's gothic, romantic trappings, the second strips them away in a thoroughly satisfying deconstrutionist effort. Martin was without a doubt my favorite vampire movie for years, but it has competition now that I've seen...
Sunday 5th Vampyr: The Dream of Allen Grey (1931)
Absolutely the strangest vampire movie I've ever seen. There is little dialogue and a plot follows dream logic. The film is unsettling without reliance on gore or shock, instead the movie relies on pacing, light manipulation and excellent sound design to fill the movie with a sense of foreboding. The vampire of this movie is a very traditional folkloric kind, of which I wish more were depicted in horror movies and liturature. Instead of existing in any sort of logical physical way by the exacting rules we have all come to expect of the genre, this vampire leaves the grave while remaining in the grave, enslaves shadows and unethical mortals to carry out it's handy work, and works from entrely unclear motivations. This film left me unsettled the whole rest of the evening I watched it. A thouroughly ehjoyable film even lacking in dialogue. In a way it resembles a prototypical David Lynch style film sharing a certain quality with Eraserhead. It also is astonishijng that this is the directer's first sound production an\s the soundtrack is used in thoroughly inovative ways to increase the omnipresent, though not too oppressive, dread of the film.
Next, Der Golem
Friday 3rd Nosferatu (1922)
Classic silent German expressionism. Unlike Caligari where the whole world is set in expressionist fashion, Nosferatu presents a world that that more or less resembles our own. This world is invaded by the expressionistic cloud that Graf Orlock spreads like the plague in his wake.
Saturday 4th Dracula (1931) and Martin (1977)
The Bela Lugosi classic and Goerge Romero's best movie make a fine pairing. The first presents the vampire in all it's gothic, romantic trappings, the second strips them away in a thoroughly satisfying deconstrutionist effort. Martin was without a doubt my favorite vampire movie for years, but it has competition now that I've seen...
Sunday 5th Vampyr: The Dream of Allen Grey (1931)
Absolutely the strangest vampire movie I've ever seen. There is little dialogue and a plot follows dream logic. The film is unsettling without reliance on gore or shock, instead the movie relies on pacing, light manipulation and excellent sound design to fill the movie with a sense of foreboding. The vampire of this movie is a very traditional folkloric kind, of which I wish more were depicted in horror movies and liturature. Instead of existing in any sort of logical physical way by the exacting rules we have all come to expect of the genre, this vampire leaves the grave while remaining in the grave, enslaves shadows and unethical mortals to carry out it's handy work, and works from entrely unclear motivations. This film left me unsettled the whole rest of the evening I watched it. A thouroughly ehjoyable film even lacking in dialogue. In a way it resembles a prototypical David Lynch style film sharing a certain quality with Eraserhead. It also is astonishijng that this is the directer's first sound production an\s the soundtrack is used in thoroughly inovative ways to increase the omnipresent, though not too oppressive, dread of the film.
Next, Der Golem
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Brief Delay
I decided to put on hold my review and analysis of Nosferatu until this evening. I am watch Universal's Dracula starring Bala Lugosi and George Romero's Martin as a vampire double feature. I will Analyse alll three later this evening.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)
I'm not going to bore you or myself recounting the plot of this movie, as that can be easily found on wikipedia. The movie itself can be viewed on Google video in it's entirety. Instead I focus on analysis and the film's place in history.
The film sets a number of precedents for future horror movies. It presents a duo of monsters. A twisted genius and a being of physical might but little to no will. We will see this pairing a number of times on our journey. The mad scientist and his creation. The sorcerer and his familiar like servant. In Caligari we have these two combined. A scientist who behaves like a sorcerer. Another precedent set is the tendency for the monsters to be the most interesting thing about the movie. Caligari and Ceasere are certainly the two most visually interesting characters in the film. Their distinctive costumes and body language set them apart even more in a silent film where body language, costume, and makeup design are the only elements they have to work with creating these characters. This makes them elder day counterparts to the psycho killers of modern day horror movies. Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, and Micheal Myers all get by on the fact that they are visually distinctive creatures. This is what keeps them going despite the law of diminishing returns working against the quality each franchise, with the exception of the Friday the 13th films which had little quality to begin with.
Being of the German expressionist style, the film creates a very distinctive visual world. The town is depicted as full of sharp angles with shadow every where. Every structure is seemingly off kilter to some extent. Even the main characters apartment is full of threatening jagged angles and oddly shaped windows. This may serve to suggest the suprise twist at the end of the film, which I will not spoil here. Caligari's hideout's standout in design, always being small and confining whether it is the wagon he and ceasere spend most of the movie plotting in, his tent at the fair, or his office at the asylum. The doorways to each room have a vaginal quality to them, suggesting the mysteries of the womb. In fact the titular cabinet containing Ceasere's sleeping form is very much in accord with the design oif Frankenstein's creation chamber disscussed below. The only sets spared these threatening angles are those of Jane's home which are instead filled with rounded shapes suggesting safety and security.
The film veers toward both the subversive and the reactionary. The main story of the movie climaxes with the discovery that Caligari is the respected director of an asylum for the mad. Oddly, he and his staff seem to be the only inhabitants. It turns out he was driven to madness and obsession. The cliche of the madman running the asylum comes into play here. However, the movies twist ending would seem to undercut this subverswive message, suggesting that the fear of authority is the real madness. The movie seems to be trying to have it's own cake and eat it too. In the process, the power of the twist of who Caligari turns out to be is undercut by the second twist that comes at the end.
With it's stark, but creative sets and prototypical horror movie tropes The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is one of the seminal films, without which horror movies would not be what they are today. For that alone it desrves to be watched, but it is alkso a fairly entertaining film. Particularly the performance of Ceasere by Conraid Veidt who would go on to play Gwynnplaine in The Man Who Laughs, Jaffar in the Thief of Bagdad, and, most famously, Major Strasser in Casablanca.
Tomorrow, another masterpiece of German expressionism "Nosferatu."
The film sets a number of precedents for future horror movies. It presents a duo of monsters. A twisted genius and a being of physical might but little to no will. We will see this pairing a number of times on our journey. The mad scientist and his creation. The sorcerer and his familiar like servant. In Caligari we have these two combined. A scientist who behaves like a sorcerer. Another precedent set is the tendency for the monsters to be the most interesting thing about the movie. Caligari and Ceasere are certainly the two most visually interesting characters in the film. Their distinctive costumes and body language set them apart even more in a silent film where body language, costume, and makeup design are the only elements they have to work with creating these characters. This makes them elder day counterparts to the psycho killers of modern day horror movies. Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, and Micheal Myers all get by on the fact that they are visually distinctive creatures. This is what keeps them going despite the law of diminishing returns working against the quality each franchise, with the exception of the Friday the 13th films which had little quality to begin with.
Being of the German expressionist style, the film creates a very distinctive visual world. The town is depicted as full of sharp angles with shadow every where. Every structure is seemingly off kilter to some extent. Even the main characters apartment is full of threatening jagged angles and oddly shaped windows. This may serve to suggest the suprise twist at the end of the film, which I will not spoil here. Caligari's hideout's standout in design, always being small and confining whether it is the wagon he and ceasere spend most of the movie plotting in, his tent at the fair, or his office at the asylum. The doorways to each room have a vaginal quality to them, suggesting the mysteries of the womb. In fact the titular cabinet containing Ceasere's sleeping form is very much in accord with the design oif Frankenstein's creation chamber disscussed below. The only sets spared these threatening angles are those of Jane's home which are instead filled with rounded shapes suggesting safety and security.
The film veers toward both the subversive and the reactionary. The main story of the movie climaxes with the discovery that Caligari is the respected director of an asylum for the mad. Oddly, he and his staff seem to be the only inhabitants. It turns out he was driven to madness and obsession. The cliche of the madman running the asylum comes into play here. However, the movies twist ending would seem to undercut this subverswive message, suggesting that the fear of authority is the real madness. The movie seems to be trying to have it's own cake and eat it too. In the process, the power of the twist of who Caligari turns out to be is undercut by the second twist that comes at the end.
With it's stark, but creative sets and prototypical horror movie tropes The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is one of the seminal films, without which horror movies would not be what they are today. For that alone it desrves to be watched, but it is alkso a fairly entertaining film. Particularly the performance of Ceasere by Conraid Veidt who would go on to play Gwynnplaine in The Man Who Laughs, Jaffar in the Thief of Bagdad, and, most famously, Major Strasser in Casablanca.
Tomorrow, another masterpiece of German expressionism "Nosferatu."
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Frankenstein (1910)
One of the earliest horror films period. The 1910 production of Frankenstein by Edison Studios marks the beginning of the genre of the horror movie. At Sixteen minutes the story is somewhat truncated.
Frankenstein creates is creature in a womblike cauldron. The sequence in which the creature is formed by condensing vapor in a box is the most visually interesting part of the feature. The creature itself looks vaguely like some kind of ragdoll sasquatch. The film is silent and filmed in black and white with various mood setting tints.
Frankenstein creates is creature in a womblike cauldron. The sequence in which the creature is formed by condensing vapor in a box is the most visually interesting part of the feature. The creature itself looks vaguely like some kind of ragdoll sasquatch. The film is silent and filmed in black and white with various mood setting tints.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
A month of horror
Tomorrow begins a month of horror. I shall endeavor to watch and review at least one horror movie a day(Double features on Saturdays.). These shall range from the very earliest silent horror films, such as Edison's production of Frankenstein, to at least one or two new to theaters. Many are movies I have already seen, but at least once a week I will watch one horror movie I have never seen before, selected somewhat randomly from the selection at local stores.
I begin tomorrow with "Frankenstein." produced in 1910 directed by J. Searle Dawley made by the Edison Studio.
I begin tomorrow with "Frankenstein." produced in 1910 directed by J. Searle Dawley made by the Edison Studio.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Look Around You
Look around you is a British comedy series produced in 2002. It is a hilarious pastiche of late 70's early 80's kiddie science shows. I detect certain similarities between this show and the style of Tim & Eric Awsome Show Great Job!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Mountain Dew Revolution: Wild Berry
Rarely has a soft drink been so offensive to the tongue that the only way to properly express ones displeasure with said drink is in the form of haiku:
Sickly sweet soda
Like acid on my palette
Only took one drink
Sickly sweet soda
Like acid on my palette
Only took one drink
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Simon Dark
October is an auspicious month to start a horror series. In October 2007 DC Comics launched the ongoing monthly series "Simon Dark" written by Steve Niles (30 Days of Night) and arted by Scott Hampton (Batman: Night Cries). The first issue introduces readers to the titular Simon in eerie and violent circumstances involving ritual sacrifice and decapitation. As the series progresses, Simon and the small corner of Gotham City he inhabits are explored in greater depth. An interesting comparison can be made to many of the horror series published by Marvel and DC Comics in the 1970's. The story and art each contribute to this seventies feel in their own way. There is also room for small complaint about some of the marketing tactics used on the front covers of each issue.
To understand the horror comics of the 1970's one must first explore the comics of the fifties. In the fifties horror comics flourished. Particularly those published by the well remembered puyblishing company E. C. The rules of the Comics Code Authority prohibited comic books from publishing stories featuring such stand by tropes of the horror genre as vampires, werewolves, and anything with a wiff of the demonic or psychotic. It's not that it would have been illegal to publish such comics, the Authority was a voluntary body whose members chose to join and follow its outlined rules, however without their once ubiquitous seal of approval it was nearly impossible to get distributors or retailers to carry a comic book. In the mid sixties a company called Warren began publishing horror comics in magazine format which let them work around the Authority. By 1969 they published the first issue of the Vampirella. In 1971 Marvel comics tested the boundaries by introducing a new villain in Amazing Spider-Man # 101. His name, Morbius the Living Vampire. Morbius is a vampire whose origin is based entirely in comic book science without any real hint of the occult. With his success Marvel went on to publish characters such as Werewolf By Night, Man-Thing, and Tomb of Dracula. Around this same period DC Comics titles such as House of Mystery and House of Secrets, which had begun as horror anthologies in the fifties, returned to their cobweb encrusted roots. Since this renaissance of horror in the late 60's early 70's, horror comics of varying levels of popularity and spookiness have been in continuous publications.
The writing and artwork that comprise Simon Dark each contribute to the 70's horror feeling of Simon Dark in their own ways. It's easy to compare a writer's current work to work they have done before, so that's what our first stop. "30 Days of Night" is a vicious series. Its gore levels, deadpan, get it dead, humor, and bitter ironies give it more than a passing flavor of the sorts of stories published by E. C. in the fifties as outlined above. Simon Dark on the other hand is built in a way that echoes the structure of several 70's horror titles especially those published by Marvel Comics. There is a very specific structure that one recognizes after reading a few of these books. Tomb of Dracula, Man-Thing , and The Living Mummy, are all built around an ensemble cast of five to seven "normal" humans with the titular Monster/Horror character serving as a sort of centerpiece for the rest of the cast to have stories around. In some ways this structure is also evident in Alan Moore and David Lloyd's "V for Vendetta," in which V often serves as a mysterious faceless center for the book's "human" cast to revolve around playing out their various dramas. Hints of this can even be seen in Neil Gaiman's Sandman which acknowledges its DC horror comic forbears in its second issue. Simon Dark also has this cast structure. The series focuses as much on the character's around Simon, allies and enimies, as it does on the theoretical 'star' of the series. This is not a complaint, each character is developed in interesting and very human ways. The art also has the flavor of 70's horror comics. Scott Hampton's artwork has a wonderful painted look. It almost has the glow of a movie projected on a screen. It is a far cry from Ben Tenplesmith's art in "30 Days" which veers more towards the iconic with his monsters having a stretched warped look, like caricatures or bodies viewed through fun house mirrors. Hampton's work looks more like an updated modern take on the artwork of 70's horror artists. It bears particular resemblance to Gene Colan's work on Tomb of Dracula. One can see other things in the art that bring the Work of Berni Wrightson, and even Mike Ploog or Neal Adams in some panels. The color tends to be muted in a way that fits the Gothic horror themes in the book.
Even with so much to like about a book there is inevitably something to complain about, in the case of Simon Dark it is an odd aspect of, what I assume, is meant to be part of the series' marketing. So far almost every issue features a blurb at the top of the cover emphasizing that the series is set in Gotham City. In the first eight issues so far, and readers can correct me if I missed something, not a single 'bat-person' has appeared or really even been hinted at. I'm not saying i want Batman, or any of his people to appear, because the book doesn't need them, but asside from characters using the words Gotham City as the name of their city there is not yet anything in the book particularly emblematic of Gotham City. The story feels like it could be happening in just about any coastal city, and the covers' insistence that this is THE Gotham City of Batman and the Joker comes off a bit forced.
Poor choice of cover blurbs aside, Simon Dark offers an excellent modernized vision of seventies style horror comics, for which i admit a weakness. The combination of threatening mysterious atmosphere with very human engaging characters makes Simon Dark a real treat although those looking for a bucket filling gore fest would do best to look elsewhere. On a side note the book's assistant editor is Stephanie Buscema granddaughter to the late John Buscema. I believe she has a blog on blogspot if readers are interested in learning more about her work and opinions.
To understand the horror comics of the 1970's one must first explore the comics of the fifties. In the fifties horror comics flourished. Particularly those published by the well remembered puyblishing company E. C. The rules of the Comics Code Authority prohibited comic books from publishing stories featuring such stand by tropes of the horror genre as vampires, werewolves, and anything with a wiff of the demonic or psychotic. It's not that it would have been illegal to publish such comics, the Authority was a voluntary body whose members chose to join and follow its outlined rules, however without their once ubiquitous seal of approval it was nearly impossible to get distributors or retailers to carry a comic book. In the mid sixties a company called Warren began publishing horror comics in magazine format which let them work around the Authority. By 1969 they published the first issue of the Vampirella. In 1971 Marvel comics tested the boundaries by introducing a new villain in Amazing Spider-Man # 101. His name, Morbius the Living Vampire. Morbius is a vampire whose origin is based entirely in comic book science without any real hint of the occult. With his success Marvel went on to publish characters such as Werewolf By Night, Man-Thing, and Tomb of Dracula. Around this same period DC Comics titles such as House of Mystery and House of Secrets, which had begun as horror anthologies in the fifties, returned to their cobweb encrusted roots. Since this renaissance of horror in the late 60's early 70's, horror comics of varying levels of popularity and spookiness have been in continuous publications.
The writing and artwork that comprise Simon Dark each contribute to the 70's horror feeling of Simon Dark in their own ways. It's easy to compare a writer's current work to work they have done before, so that's what our first stop. "30 Days of Night" is a vicious series. Its gore levels, deadpan, get it dead, humor, and bitter ironies give it more than a passing flavor of the sorts of stories published by E. C. in the fifties as outlined above. Simon Dark on the other hand is built in a way that echoes the structure of several 70's horror titles especially those published by Marvel Comics. There is a very specific structure that one recognizes after reading a few of these books. Tomb of Dracula, Man-Thing , and The Living Mummy, are all built around an ensemble cast of five to seven "normal" humans with the titular Monster/Horror character serving as a sort of centerpiece for the rest of the cast to have stories around. In some ways this structure is also evident in Alan Moore and David Lloyd's "V for Vendetta," in which V often serves as a mysterious faceless center for the book's "human" cast to revolve around playing out their various dramas. Hints of this can even be seen in Neil Gaiman's Sandman which acknowledges its DC horror comic forbears in its second issue. Simon Dark also has this cast structure. The series focuses as much on the character's around Simon, allies and enimies, as it does on the theoretical 'star' of the series. This is not a complaint, each character is developed in interesting and very human ways. The art also has the flavor of 70's horror comics. Scott Hampton's artwork has a wonderful painted look. It almost has the glow of a movie projected on a screen. It is a far cry from Ben Tenplesmith's art in "30 Days" which veers more towards the iconic with his monsters having a stretched warped look, like caricatures or bodies viewed through fun house mirrors. Hampton's work looks more like an updated modern take on the artwork of 70's horror artists. It bears particular resemblance to Gene Colan's work on Tomb of Dracula. One can see other things in the art that bring the Work of Berni Wrightson, and even Mike Ploog or Neal Adams in some panels. The color tends to be muted in a way that fits the Gothic horror themes in the book.
Even with so much to like about a book there is inevitably something to complain about, in the case of Simon Dark it is an odd aspect of, what I assume, is meant to be part of the series' marketing. So far almost every issue features a blurb at the top of the cover emphasizing that the series is set in Gotham City. In the first eight issues so far, and readers can correct me if I missed something, not a single 'bat-person' has appeared or really even been hinted at. I'm not saying i want Batman, or any of his people to appear, because the book doesn't need them, but asside from characters using the words Gotham City as the name of their city there is not yet anything in the book particularly emblematic of Gotham City. The story feels like it could be happening in just about any coastal city, and the covers' insistence that this is THE Gotham City of Batman and the Joker comes off a bit forced.
Poor choice of cover blurbs aside, Simon Dark offers an excellent modernized vision of seventies style horror comics, for which i admit a weakness. The combination of threatening mysterious atmosphere with very human engaging characters makes Simon Dark a real treat although those looking for a bucket filling gore fest would do best to look elsewhere. On a side note the book's assistant editor is Stephanie Buscema granddaughter to the late John Buscema. I believe she has a blog on blogspot if readers are interested in learning more about her work and opinions.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
First foot forward
Ahhh! The virgin post on a freshly created blog. I will endeavor to be gentle. First a little about myself, I am a part-time cashier/ part-time college student, thus I have all the qualifications needed to pass judgment on whatsoever should come to my attention. I will review anything in any format. Without further adieu, the first review.
2000's
That's correct. The entire decade up to this point. I spent a great deal of thought trying to decide what the definitive spirit of our age is. After careful scrutiny it is evident to me the prevalent mood of the decade has, thus far, been one of profound disappointment. A disappointing president, disappointing wars, disappointment all around.
George W. Bush was elected president at a time when the world seemed to run so smoothly for the American public that it didn't matter how lousy a person we elected president. I must admit that in the run up to the 2000 election W. seemed to me to be the candidate most resembling a shady used car salesman, which I suspect he may actually be at this moment in an alternate universe.
September 2001, possibly the most disappointing day in American history. It is the day the United States got shaken out of the decade long daydream that was the ninties and reminded that it shared the world with people and groups that were not overly fond of its foreign policies.
Over the decade entertainment in most forms grows more and more disappointing ads it relies on constant remakes and reality programing.
Only time will tell if this decade ends on the same dissappointing notes that ushered it in.
2000's
That's correct. The entire decade up to this point. I spent a great deal of thought trying to decide what the definitive spirit of our age is. After careful scrutiny it is evident to me the prevalent mood of the decade has, thus far, been one of profound disappointment. A disappointing president, disappointing wars, disappointment all around.
George W. Bush was elected president at a time when the world seemed to run so smoothly for the American public that it didn't matter how lousy a person we elected president. I must admit that in the run up to the 2000 election W. seemed to me to be the candidate most resembling a shady used car salesman, which I suspect he may actually be at this moment in an alternate universe.
September 2001, possibly the most disappointing day in American history. It is the day the United States got shaken out of the decade long daydream that was the ninties and reminded that it shared the world with people and groups that were not overly fond of its foreign policies.
Over the decade entertainment in most forms grows more and more disappointing ads it relies on constant remakes and reality programing.
Only time will tell if this decade ends on the same dissappointing notes that ushered it in.
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